Jersey Shore Musings
September 3rd, 2010Another Friday – another recap of the Shore.
Here’s how I saw the fight.
Yes, Vinny somewhat instigated it, but Angelina had it coming. She is a pathological liar and she was 100% trying to stir the pot and make it look like JWOWW was talking shit on Pauly. If Vinny, who is normally quiet during these types of things, felt the need to call her out on it she likely had it coming.
So anyway, somehow JWOWW yelling at Angelina turns into JWOWW and Sammi shouting in each others faces – and we got ourselves a good old fashioned cat fight.
As expected, JWOWW was physically much bigger and threw Sammi to the ground without much trouble. Think Silva vs. Leben. I think the Long Island native thought she had it in the bag at this point and, to be honest, I didn’t think Sammi had the heart to get up – but the kid proved me wrong. Sweetheart got to her feet and unloaded with a right cross that appears to be landing right on JWOWWs surgically-altered chin. Did it connect? We will have to wait until next week to find out – but kudos to Sammi for putting up a fight.
And screw you MTV for giving a cliffhanger.
As for the rest of the episode:
- Snooki and Vinny got it on for realz this time and, apparently, Vinny’s Italian sausage is the stuff of legends. No wonder he doesn’t feel the need to be as loud, juiced-up or obnoxious as those other clowns – he knows he’s got them beat where it counts. Good for him. If I were him, I would be hitting the clubs up hard this week given this latest revelation.
- If I tried to recap the stupidity of the girls my head would explode. Let me say this, Angelina is as worthless a human being as it gets, but JWOWW and Snooki are trying to drag her into the letter. No, Angelina is not as invested in the anonymous letter as you two dingbats. Stop trying to make her the scapegoat. If any of them had any guts they would have told Sammi to her face. Sweetheart is getting absolutely dumped on in this whole thing… Have I mentioned recently how stupid girls are? In a million freaking years this situation would never play out among men. I swear, every time I think a girl on this show may have some semblance of a brain they go and do something totally f’ing retarded.
- The 5-million dollar man finally bedded a chick that I would call “porn star hot.” And in typical fashion, Sitch added a little pizazz by having the girl wait for him in the Smoosh room while he made himself some dinner and smoked a cig. Then, after giving her the biz, he called her a taxi like a gentleman. I would really like to know how much time went by with her in the room by herself. It would be a good assessment of her self-worth. If it’s over 15 minutes then you know that girl has some daddy issues. You can also add her to the list of girls who stay inside for a solid week after their episode airs – right there with the original grenade and her hippo friend.
- By the way, Situation earns more money than Obama and I’m pretty sure I would rather have Situation as my President. Just saying.
- So the girls decided to make dinner. And, as expected, it wasn’t as good as Mike’s chicken cutlet night. (You can tell the guys were being nice when they said ‘it’s very good’.) I don’t get it – these girls show all the other traits of the typical female – like shallowness and constant bickering – but they can’t cook? Whazupwitdat?
- The Situation nearly had a situation with a tranny. Hey, we’ve all had our moments.
- I was on the can when the Situation’s sister made an appearance so I really can’t comment on it too much. I imagine she still looks like Mike. In which case, I think I took a well-timed bathroom break.
- Next week: The rest of the fallout from the fight and Angelina hooks up with Vinny which will spawn our next fight – this time from the lightweight division – Snooki vs. Angelina. The battle for Vinny’s Stromboli.
Stay lucky,
Ken









