F*ck MTV

I’m not even going to talk about Jersey Shore (much).

It’s one thing to tease a fight all week and just show the beginning of it and save the rest for the week after – ala JWOWW and Sammi.  It’s an entirely different thing to tease a fight all week and then not show it at all.  This is exactly what the fat-cats at MTV did last night when there was no Snooki/Angelina showdown in sight after running previews for it all week.  For shame, you bastards.

I will say this though; Pauly D’s line about ‘beached whales on the sand’ in reference to Angelina and her friend was pretty hysterical.

And while I’m on the topic of Jersey Shore…

- With all her talk of ‘gorilla juiceheads’, I’m surprised JWOWW dates an averaged sized (by guido standards), balding, St. Anthony’s graduate (Long Island Catholic HS represent).  This guy must pack some major heat in his trousers.

- This was the second episode in a row with very little Sammi/Ronnie nonsense.  I’m not complaining.

- I am the self-proclaimed King of Awkward Moments – but, in all my years I have never experienced anything as awkward as Angelina’s Mike must have experienced as the Sitch lit into the Staten Island Kim Kardashian.  ‘How many guys have you slept with in the last 24 hours’, ‘you left a used pad on the floor’, ‘you’re a dirty hamster.’  Good lord.  Tell us what you really think, Mike.  On the brightside, at least the other Mike got on TV – so he’s got that going for him.

- Pretty quiet episode from Snooki.  Turns out she is as big a creep as Situation for staring at JWOWW and her boyfriend getting it on.  What is with these people?  How is this considered acceptable behavior in that house?

-  I’m not digging T-Shirt time.  It doesn’t seem to have the same sincerity of GTL.  I don’t expect it to catch-on.

That’s all I got.  Next week looks good, but the fact that I have to wait 7 days to finally see this fight really chaps my ass.

The Office is back and Always Sunny continues

I really enjoyed The Office last night.

Ryan jumping out to promote Woof.com had me in stitches and Creed’s two appearances were priceless – ‘everyone is talking about Betty White.  Finally, one guy isn’t talking about Betty White.  Of course I’m going to follow him.’
Apart from that, Andy brought the funny as always.  ‘I’m the Nard Dog.  My father is the Nard Man.’  I’m interested to see where this love triangle with Gabe and Erin goes.  Why is Andy always in love triangles?  And why the hell did Gabe steal Erin in the first place?  What a jerk.

I kind of wish they kept Michael’s nephew around because I thought he could deliver a solid line once a show – kind of like Creed.  Oh well.

As for Always Sunny – it was good not great.  The show is still trying to hit its stride this season and I’ll think they’ll find it soon.

Last night had its moments though.  Mac bathing at the bar was great and anytime Uncle Jack is in an episode you know you’re in for some laughs.

Week 3 Picks

Philbert got me by a game last week so we are all even heading into Week 3.  Here are our picks:

Ken’s Picks

Giants (-3) over Titans
Steelers (-2.5) over BUCS
RAVENS (-10.5) over Browns
PATRIOTS (-14.5) over Bills
SAINTS (-4) over Falcons
Niners (-2.5) over CHIEFS
Bengals (-3) over PANTHERS
SEAHAWKS (+5.5) over Chargers
Redskins (-3.5) over RAMS
Lions (+11) over VIKINGS
Cowboys (+3) over Texans
Colts (-5.5) over BRONCOS
JAGS (+3) over Eagles
Raiders (+4.5) over CARDINALS
DOLPHINS (-2) over Jets
Packers (-3) over BEARS

Last Week: 6-9-1
Season: 16-13-3

Phil’s Picks

Titans (+3) over GIANTS
BUCS (+2.5) over Steelers
RAVENS (-10.5) over Browns
Bills (+14.5) over PATRIOTS
Falcons (+4) over SAINTS
Niners (-2.5) over CHIEFS
Bengals (-3) over PANTHERS
SEAHAWKS (+5.5) over Chargers
Redskins (-3.5) over RAMS
Lions (+11) over VIKINGS
Cowboys (+3) over Texans
Colts (-5.5) over BRONCOS
Eagles (-3) over Jags
Raiders (+4.5) over CARDINALS
Jets (+2) over DOLPHINS
Packers (-3) over BEARS

Last Week: 7-8-1
Season: 16-13-3

Enjoy the fights tomorrow night!

Stay lucky,
Ken

The Giants got shellacked in Indianapolis last night as the Manning Bowl was a one-sided affair.

Here are some thoughts:

The Good:

1. Matt Dodge

Honestly, nothing from this game should be classified as ‘good’. I have to choose something so I’ll go with Dodge who showed a lot of improvement in his punting. He averaged over 40 yards and had a 62 yard bomb. There was some nice hang time on most of them as well.

So, yea, whatever.

2. Mario Manningham

Again, I wouldn’t call anything ‘good’, but Super Mario had another solid game with four catches for 75 yards and a touchdown.

The Bad:

1. Darius Reynaud

This guy sucks. I knew we would be missing Hixon hardcore.

He gets no field position whatsoever in his returns and he took a kickoff out from about 5 yards deep in the end zone to get tackled at the ten yard line last night. Inexcusable.

The Ugly:

1. Run defense

Fewell made an educated guess to play the pass over the run last night. Not a bad idea in theory until Addai started to torch us. From there, the gameplan was out the window as Indy continued to run the ball with us helpless to stop them.

2. Offensive Line

I realize this group didn’t get much time together in the pre-season, but their play last night was alarming. Mathis and Freeney completely took over the game and were running wild. Eli is going to get killed if they can’t protect him better than that.

Stand by, Shawn Andrews.

3. Brandon Jacobs helmet

I don’t know exactly what happened, but it’s pretty clear that Jacobs was at fault for his helmet ending up in the 10th row.

He is not happy and is rumored to be asking for a trade today. I hope he gets it.

The rest of the East.

Lucky for us, no one looked that good yesterday. Washington blew a game to the Texans in overtime. Dallas lost at home to the Bears. And Philly nearly blew a game to Detroit that they had a comfortable lead in.

So, despite how terrible the G-Men were, we still may be the best team in the division.

Closing Thoughts:

Going into Indy to play a 0-1 Super Bowl runner-up was going to be tough. The G-Men were clearly not up to the challenge.

There are very few ways to look on the brightside here so I will instead remind myself that its one game and hope we do better against Tennessee.

Stay lucky,
Ken

Week 1 is in the books so let’s take a look at the G-Men who defeated the Panthers yesterday 31-18.

The Good:

1) Hakeem Nicks

Boy, am I glad I drafted this thoroughbred as high as I did in my fantasy league.

Hakeem had three touchdowns yesterday and looks to be well on his way to catapulting into the upper echelon of receivers in this league. He has a nose for the end-zone and is a big target for Eli. Along with Steve Smith, Nicks gives the Giants one of the best 1-2 combos in the league. And Super Mario – who had 82 yards yesterday – is a more than solid #3.

2) The Defense

That’s more like it.

The defense made a statement yesterday that said they are ready to put last season behind them and return to the Big Blue Wrecking Crew of old. They held the high potent Panthers run game to 89 yards and forced Matt Moore to throw. Once Double M was put into this spot it got ugly as the d-line took turns knocking him on his ass - hard. Eventually, poor Matt was out of the game. Let’s hope this kind of pressure is the norm.

The secondary also had a good game with three picks in the end-zone. Kenny Phillips had a touchdown saving shoestring tackle on D’angelo Williams and Terrell Thomas was solid despite a few missed tackles.

3) Eli Manning

Those three picks were not his fault and outside of those he was sensational.

Elisha was 20 for 30 with 263 yards and three touchdowns to the Prince of Zamunda. Manning also spread the ball well hitting seven different receivers with the three big dogs all getting at least four receptions.

Next week, Eli gets to show big brother who’s the “Man”ning. (See what I did there?)

The Bad:

1) First half run game

What the hell was that? I think we had about 8 yards rushing in the first half. We need to be better than that.

Overall though, I was happy with the run game. Gilbride did a nice job of splitting carries between Ahmad and Jacobs to keep everyone happy. In fact, while Bradshaw ended up with more yards, it was Brandon who opened up the Panthers defense with some nice runs to start the second half.

2) Dropped passes

I mentioned this before, but Hakeem, Ramses and Bradshaw all dropped passes that should have been caught instead of picked off. We got away with it this time against the Panthers, but this would be a terrible habit to get into.

The Ugly:

1) Special Teams

Matt Dodge could probably have his own entry, but I might as well group this all together.

Still, let’s start with the kid. Those two punts were dreadful line drives that led to big returns. He had a net average of 16 yards! Let’s just hope this was some first game jitters and that he will be OK next week. If he’s not, Coughlin needs to send some players to Ridgewood, NJ to talk Jeff Feagles out of retirement.

Outside of Dodge, we had a punt blocked for a safety, an offsides on a kickoff and gave up gift-wrapped field position all day. The kickoff coverage before the end of the first half led directly to a touchdown. Inexcusable.

Darius Reynaud was uninspiring on returns. I really wish we still had Hixon.

2) Losing Kevin Boss

This one is going to hurt.

That was a dirty hit on Boss that should have given us 15-yards on a personal foul. Instead, it just gave us a banged-up and concussed Bossman.

We really need Kevin back and given his toughness I hope he returns soon. Not only is he one of Eli’s favorite targets, but he provides much needed blocking in the run game. As the moron Moose Johnston pointed out, anytime we had to take out Travis Beckum to put in Will Beatty is was apparent we were going to run.

My prediction is Kevin misses the Manning Bowl, but is back for Week 3.

3) Losing Chase Blackburn

Our pitiful special teams are not going to get any better with the loss of our SP captain.
The word is the always gritty Blackburn has a sprained knee. We should know more on the severity later today.

The Rest of the East:

The G-Men had their faults, but I think they clearly looked like the best team in the NFC East yesterday.

The Eagles lost to the Packers and in the process gained a quarterback controversy just one week into the season after Kolb went down and Vick looked good. They also lost their fullback Leonard Weaver to a particularly gruesome knee injury. He is out for the season.

The Skins and the Cowboys played an uninspired game on Sunday Night Football that saw Washington pull out the win. I actually fell asleep for most of this game, but I did see Dallas let up a fumble recovery touchdown to close out the first half which had me rolling on the ground.

Closing Thoughts:

We are in fine shape if the second half of yesterday was more of an indication of the season than the first half.

Don’t get me wrong, the Panthers stink – but we beat them pretty convincingly and should be able to clean up the mistakes that made the game somewhat competitive.

It is clear that Eli is a top QB with a ferocious young receiving core, the running game should get better as the o-line gets back in the swing of playing together which they didn’t get to do all preseason and the defense is going to be scary if they play to their potential.

Special teams is a different story and could cost us a few games if it doesn’t get fixed.

Until next week.

Stay lucky,
Ken