F*ck MTV

I’m not even going to talk about Jersey Shore (much).

It’s one thing to tease a fight all week and just show the beginning of it and save the rest for the week after – ala JWOWW and Sammi.  It’s an entirely different thing to tease a fight all week and then not show it at all.  This is exactly what the fat-cats at MTV did last night when there was no Snooki/Angelina showdown in sight after running previews for it all week.  For shame, you bastards.

I will say this though; Pauly D’s line about ‘beached whales on the sand’ in reference to Angelina and her friend was pretty hysterical.

And while I’m on the topic of Jersey Shore…

- With all her talk of ‘gorilla juiceheads’, I’m surprised JWOWW dates an averaged sized (by guido standards), balding, St. Anthony’s graduate (Long Island Catholic HS represent).  This guy must pack some major heat in his trousers.

- This was the second episode in a row with very little Sammi/Ronnie nonsense.  I’m not complaining.

- I am the self-proclaimed King of Awkward Moments – but, in all my years I have never experienced anything as awkward as Angelina’s Mike must have experienced as the Sitch lit into the Staten Island Kim Kardashian.  ‘How many guys have you slept with in the last 24 hours’, ‘you left a used pad on the floor’, ‘you’re a dirty hamster.’  Good lord.  Tell us what you really think, Mike.  On the brightside, at least the other Mike got on TV – so he’s got that going for him.

- Pretty quiet episode from Snooki.  Turns out she is as big a creep as Situation for staring at JWOWW and her boyfriend getting it on.  What is with these people?  How is this considered acceptable behavior in that house?

-  I’m not digging T-Shirt time.  It doesn’t seem to have the same sincerity of GTL.  I don’t expect it to catch-on.

That’s all I got.  Next week looks good, but the fact that I have to wait 7 days to finally see this fight really chaps my ass.

The Office is back and Always Sunny continues

I really enjoyed The Office last night.

Ryan jumping out to promote Woof.com had me in stitches and Creed’s two appearances were priceless – ‘everyone is talking about Betty White.  Finally, one guy isn’t talking about Betty White.  Of course I’m going to follow him.’
Apart from that, Andy brought the funny as always.  ‘I’m the Nard Dog.  My father is the Nard Man.’  I’m interested to see where this love triangle with Gabe and Erin goes.  Why is Andy always in love triangles?  And why the hell did Gabe steal Erin in the first place?  What a jerk.

I kind of wish they kept Michael’s nephew around because I thought he could deliver a solid line once a show – kind of like Creed.  Oh well.

As for Always Sunny – it was good not great.  The show is still trying to hit its stride this season and I’ll think they’ll find it soon.

Last night had its moments though.  Mac bathing at the bar was great and anytime Uncle Jack is in an episode you know you’re in for some laughs.

Week 3 Picks

Philbert got me by a game last week so we are all even heading into Week 3.  Here are our picks:

Ken’s Picks

Giants (-3) over Titans
Steelers (-2.5) over BUCS
RAVENS (-10.5) over Browns
PATRIOTS (-14.5) over Bills
SAINTS (-4) over Falcons
Niners (-2.5) over CHIEFS
Bengals (-3) over PANTHERS
SEAHAWKS (+5.5) over Chargers
Redskins (-3.5) over RAMS
Lions (+11) over VIKINGS
Cowboys (+3) over Texans
Colts (-5.5) over BRONCOS
JAGS (+3) over Eagles
Raiders (+4.5) over CARDINALS
DOLPHINS (-2) over Jets
Packers (-3) over BEARS

Last Week: 6-9-1
Season: 16-13-3

Phil’s Picks

Titans (+3) over GIANTS
BUCS (+2.5) over Steelers
RAVENS (-10.5) over Browns
Bills (+14.5) over PATRIOTS
Falcons (+4) over SAINTS
Niners (-2.5) over CHIEFS
Bengals (-3) over PANTHERS
SEAHAWKS (+5.5) over Chargers
Redskins (-3.5) over RAMS
Lions (+11) over VIKINGS
Cowboys (+3) over Texans
Colts (-5.5) over BRONCOS
Eagles (-3) over Jags
Raiders (+4.5) over CARDINALS
Jets (+2) over DOLPHINS
Packers (-3) over BEARS

Last Week: 7-8-1
Season: 16-13-3

Enjoy the fights tomorrow night!

Stay lucky,
Ken

The Giants got shellacked in Indianapolis last night as the Manning Bowl was a one-sided affair.

Here are some thoughts:

The Good:

1. Matt Dodge

Honestly, nothing from this game should be classified as ‘good’. I have to choose something so I’ll go with Dodge who showed a lot of improvement in his punting. He averaged over 40 yards and had a 62 yard bomb. There was some nice hang time on most of them as well.

So, yea, whatever.

2. Mario Manningham

Again, I wouldn’t call anything ‘good’, but Super Mario had another solid game with four catches for 75 yards and a touchdown.

The Bad:

1. Darius Reynaud

This guy sucks. I knew we would be missing Hixon hardcore.

He gets no field position whatsoever in his returns and he took a kickoff out from about 5 yards deep in the end zone to get tackled at the ten yard line last night. Inexcusable.

The Ugly:

1. Run defense

Fewell made an educated guess to play the pass over the run last night. Not a bad idea in theory until Addai started to torch us. From there, the gameplan was out the window as Indy continued to run the ball with us helpless to stop them.

2. Offensive Line

I realize this group didn’t get much time together in the pre-season, but their play last night was alarming. Mathis and Freeney completely took over the game and were running wild. Eli is going to get killed if they can’t protect him better than that.

Stand by, Shawn Andrews.

3. Brandon Jacobs helmet

I don’t know exactly what happened, but it’s pretty clear that Jacobs was at fault for his helmet ending up in the 10th row.

He is not happy and is rumored to be asking for a trade today. I hope he gets it.

The rest of the East.

Lucky for us, no one looked that good yesterday. Washington blew a game to the Texans in overtime. Dallas lost at home to the Bears. And Philly nearly blew a game to Detroit that they had a comfortable lead in.

So, despite how terrible the G-Men were, we still may be the best team in the division.

Closing Thoughts:

Going into Indy to play a 0-1 Super Bowl runner-up was going to be tough. The G-Men were clearly not up to the challenge.

There are very few ways to look on the brightside here so I will instead remind myself that its one game and hope we do better against Tennessee.

Stay lucky,
Ken

A tornado hit my town last night – how about dem apples?

In other news, I nearly tossed a brick threw my TV when I found out Jersey Shore was the same episode from Sunday night and that the Snooki/Angelina Battle of the Bimbos would have to wait until next week. Thank you very much, MTV.

Still, I hadn’t seen the Sunday episode so I took a look.

It was your typical set-up episode with some foreshadowing of next week’s donnybrook. I was stranded in Manhattan for about 3 hours thanks to the storm so I was in no mood to take notes but the main things I remember were:

- I really wish I could have eaten that meal Vinny’s mom cooked. Good lord. To think, I was boasting about my potatoes and pan fried steak the other day. I’m not even in the same stratosphere as Mrs. Guadagnino.

- Uncle Nino is OK in my book.

- The Situation is one creepy bastard. Making a snack and then sitting front row for Pauly’s session. What the hell was he doing?

- The Vin-man got punk’d - and punk’d bad - last night. I don’t know where to begin. First of all, he had no game in the bar. And this is coming from a guy who has less game than Atari. The stuff he was saying was making me cringe.

Second, when the babe cancels you just got to leave it alone Vinny. A buddy of mine compared it to Jon Favreau harassing the girl in Swingers. That pretty much hits the nail on the head. I can’t understand how ‘Cenzo has the biggest Italian Sausage this side of Sicily with the marbles of a field mouse.

I felt bad for my dude. All dressed up and nowhere to go. It’s a major blow to what has otherwise been a breakout season for the youngest member of the cast. Hopefully, he can rebound strong in the closing weeks.

Week Two Picks:

I have a game lead on Phil heading in to week two:

Ken’s Picks:

PACKERS (-13) over Bills
VIKINGS (-5.5) over Dolphins
FALCONS (-6.5) over Cards
Ravens (-2.5) over BENGALS
BROWNS (-2) over Chiefs
COWBOYS (-7.5) over Bears
TITANS (-5) over Steelers
Bucs (+3.5) over PANTHERS
LIONS (+6.5) over Eagles
BRONCOS (-3.5) over Seahawks
Rams (+3.5) over RAIDERS
Jaguars (+7) over CHARGERS
Texans (-3) over REDSKINS
Giants (+5) over COLTS
Pats (-3) over JETS
Saints (-5) over NINERS

Last week: 10-4-2
Season: 10-4-2

Phil’s Picks:

PACKERS (-13) over Bills
Dolphins (+5.5) over VIKINGS
FALCONS (-6.5) over Cards
BENGALS (+2.5) over Ravens
Chiefs (+2) over BROWNS
COWBOYS (-7.5) over Bears
TITANS (-5) over Steelers
PANTHERS (-3.5) over Bucs
Eagles (-6.5) over LIONS
BRONCOS (-3.5) over Seahawks
RAIDERS (-3.5) over Rams
CHARGERS (-7) over Jaguars
REDSKINS (+3) over Texans
Giants (+5) over COLTS
Pats (-3) over JETS
Saints (-5) over NINERS

Last week: 9-5-2
Season: 9-5-2

Enjoy the weekend.

Stay lucky,
Ken

No time for WEC predictions so instead I’ll leave for the weekend with Ron Artest’s soon to be legendary post-game speech from last night:

Have a great weekend, folks!

-Ken